Yesterday, another couple we know announced their first pregnancy.
It's a weird feeling, bring totally happy for someone else, and yet sad for your own situation at the same time. Its a selfish feeling. One that is difficult to shake.
Your mouth is saying "Oh, that's so great, congratulations!" while your head you are doing the maths... how long have they been together? How long have they been trying? They must have fallen really quickly. Months. Maybe even weeks after they started.
Fertile. I do wonder what that is like... to have the fear that you might fall pregnant easily, if you don't plan on it yet. The ability to plan on even falling pregnant. It's something I suppose most people take for granted, the same way I take for granted that we don't have to worry about contraception. That after two-and-spare-change years of 'just seeing'... we are no closer than when we started.
Someone remarked the other day that being 'nearly pregnant' is a fallacy. It's just one of those things in life. You either are or you are not. That's all there is really...
And I'm not.
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